Title: Dust of Broken Hearts
Written for: hawaii5063
Request: Snape, snarky.
Summery: Everyone knows Severus Snape hates Valentine's Day.
Everyone knew that Severus Snape hated Valentine's Day.
The rumor was that he had never received a Valentine. This made
several boys snicker, and several girls sigh in sympathy. Only Snape
himself knew that this was not true.
Severus Snape hated Valentine's Day, because he received too
Every year since he had come to Hogwarts, they would make their way
under his door. Ten, twenty, sometimes closer to fifty would be
waiting for him when he woke up Valentine's Day morning. And more
would smuggle themselves into the pockets of his robe, the drawers and
cabinets in his office throughout the day. In one memorable occasion,
they had hidden under his pillow until he came to bed, and then
attacked his crotch and face.
His first year as a teacher, Severus had been startled by the influx.
Now, he just tried to protect himself against it. He spelled his
pockets closed; put up wards on his door, charmed his cabinets, but
nothing worked. He still ended the day with increasing numbers of
And if he didn't read every single one, the cards themselves would
flutter around him on their paper wings, keening and crying in
high-pitched voices. If he blasted them, they would flop around on
the floor for hours before finally settling into broken hearted
It really wasn't good for his sensitive hearing.
So he would finally resign himself to reading, and would generally
have to stay up very late to get through them all. The anticipation
would make him surlier and more apt to take points on Valentine's Day
Which would only compound the problem, as many of the girls (and
several of the boys) would feel simultaneously sympathetic and
courageous, and would take it upon themselves to send a Valentine to
the man who, in their minds, could most use one.
Because everyone knew that Severus Snape hated Valentine's Day.