Superfail! (aliaspiral) wrote,

Writer's Block: Star-crossed

Have you ever secretly loved someone you shouldn't have? If so, did you confess your feelings? Any regrets either way?

mmm. I wouldnt go so far to say LOVED. "Massively crushed on" would be a better choice.

See, in high school, I had this really tall, fairly built, hilarious, cute friend named Chad. Unfortunately, Chad had a girlfriend. Who went to another school, but still, girlfriend. We hung out a good bit together - not just in school, but at Waffle House and at his house, and we watched movies and, you know, spent a lot of time together.

I was crushing, but I kept it subtle (I think. Who knows, I might have been ridiculously obvious), because GIRLFRIEND.

And then? He came to school one day, and the heavens opened and angels sang, because he and his girlfriend had broken up.

This was, I believe, a Thursday.

I, of course, gave him time to recover from this most tragic loss, and told him I was going out of town on Friday (which was true), and would see him again on Monday. My weekend away was full of giggling and stupid fantasies about our first kiss, etc, blahblahblah i was 15, give me a break.

And when I came back to school on Monday, hopeful and happy and cheerful, things just got better when he grabbed me up off the ground in a hug and said, "Yesterday, I met the girl I'm going to marry!"


And it got better. It was one of my best friends.

Double fuck.

So, no, I never made a move, and I backed way off because hi, she's a friend and they were ridiculous together (really, disgustingly ridiculous, and that wasn't just jealousy talking), but yeah, the crush never went away entirely.

Even now, when he's married (no, not to her), and entirely too religious for my personal taste or sanity, I still think of him from high school and how it felt to be hugged by him, and I might sigh. Just a little.
Tags: writer's block

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