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E2: Danziger's Gun

Invincible, Shan Bao, and the Neverending Boob Joke

Ive watched five eps of Invincible Shan Bao Mei, and am completely enjoying it.

1. It is made of crack
2. The current plotline is the size of Shan Bao's boobs
3. Nicholas Teo has a smile that can cure cancer

biases expressed interest, and when I mentioned the rocket penis, SHE REALLY NEEDED A PICSPAM.

This show is nuts, y'all. Dont go in and say I didnt warn you. I cant even judge if it's a GOOD show. it just amuses me, and it involves boobs. YAY BOOBS!



We start our journey with Nicholas Teo in a scary mustache, who is playing his own father. They've been kidnapped!
Nick Teo in a bad mustache with a little boy beside him, both tied up

They've been kidnapped by people who work for daddy!Teo. Little!Teo, whose name, by the way, is Invincible, is mocking the attempts of the kidnappers to feed them. He has a refined palate and needs a good long time out for attitude. They distract the morons and jump into garbage cans to escape down the river.

Meanwhile! A little girl is busy making rice and swooning over this scrawny little geek:
little geeky boy with big ears and glasses

Scrawny little geek doesnt like girls who can bench press TREES or lift and carry barrels containing stuck up little boys. Too bad for him!
Little Shan Bao lifts a barrel out of the water. Invincible is inside the barrel.

Scrawny geek breaks her heart, turns down her rice, and leaves in a huff. Little girl cries and gives her rice to the weird kid she just pulled out of the river, who, of course, falls in love with her rice.

FAST FORWARD!

In a haunted BBQ place, there come two eerily familiar people from Fated to Love You, neither of whom I bothered to cap! Hint: it's Ethan's assistant and some woman he calls "honey." YEAH RIGHT. Anyway, they came to check out the ghosts, who pop out from everywhere! But they arent scared! UNTIL! Honey has a close encounter with the scariest ghost of ALL! And i mean a CLOSE encounter! As in, Honey accidentally grabs Ms Ghost's boobs. OR LACK THEREOF.

Mutual reaction:
Honey's hands are on the ghost's boobs. They are both looking at Honey's hands.
women looking at each other and screaming. Honey's hands still on boobs.

Honey and gay boy run screaming. As they're running out the door, he asks, "Honey! Why are you so scared?" and she says..wait for her, here's your theme...everybody ready? "That girl ghost! SHE HAD NO BOOBS!"

No, REALLY.

Ok, so the whole haunted BBQ joint thing is..stupid, really. Shan Bao (of course, they were her nonexistant boobs that were grabbed) and her brother and their coworkers were trying to convince the world their dad's place was haunted, so it would shut down, and they could go do other things. Shan Bao, for instance, would like to not be abnormally strong or smell like BBQ from hacking up chickens and ducks and whatever. She would also like to get married and be the perfect wife. Her brother wants to design clothes. Also, he cross dresses.

Does anyone else smell any gay around here? Just me?

Ok, so the "flat chested ghost" video gets put on youtube, and their designs backfire. now the place is popular AND she is known as the flat chested girl ghost. In the hubab, we see someone else who rings some bells!

Ethan from Fated to Love You, with a baby in a front carrier, struggles to read a book and carry several packages.

It's Ethan, his eyebrows, and the baby from Fated to Love You! Yay! Hi Ethan! Im sorry I ran away from the incoming angst of FtLY! I miss you and your eyebrows!

Anyway, even Ethan and his baby comment on Shan Bao's boobs.
Ethan with a sheepish look on his face. Subtitles say 'My child recognizes breasts.'

Yep, the baby knows boobs, and YOU AINT GOT 'EM.

Moving along, we get to what has to be the awesomest openings of a tv show ever. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring to you, Invincible, Your Delicious Date

There are only two words for this entire sequence and it is PIMP DADDY. His shirt is gaping! His hips are swinging! The babes are screaming and drooling and wearing feathers! The behind the scenes for this scene features them making him do it OVER and OVER again and making it bigger and more ridiculous every time!
PICTURES DO NOT DO IT JUSTICE. If i could find the damn thing on youtube, I would link you, BUT I CANT. So, have a few very unworthy pics!

pink background, 2 ladies in feathers, tight dresses, and colored wigs, and Invincible shaking his groove thing in between.

Invincible in the middle of several ladies in feathers and tight dresses doing a kick line.

Invincible with a smoldering look

Invincible with his arm around a lovely lady, subtitles say 'A warm and passionate French kiss.'

Dont ask what he's doing in that last one. His timer broke, and he has French kissing down to a science. THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. Except! PIMP DADDY.

Ok, so, to sum up what goes on the next several minutes without any concerns for plot: she's worried her boyfriend will see the vid and think she's flat chested. Boyfriend doesnt claim her and thinks she's scary, also, SHE'S A STALKER! She steals his mail and his work uniform and breaks into his place to clean. Boyfriend tells her to go wait for him in the men's bathroom in the resturant he works in, which is also where Invincible is currently getting dumped by his hot girlfriend! Why? BECAUSE HE IS AN ASS. I mean it, y'all. He is 100% smooth talking, arrogant asshole.

Dont worry, he woobies fairly quickly. I adored him by episode 2.

Anyway, he gets dumped and goes into the men's room to lick his wounds. Shan Bao hears someone come in, figures it's her boyfriend/stalkee, tells him that she KNOWS he's seen the video, but she really does have breasts - HERE! FEEL THEM! And she throws herself out of the stall.

Shan Bao standing with arms open, head back, eyes closed. Invincible looking at her with arms crossed.

Invincible's reaction:

Invincible cringing hard.

Oh, Nick Teo, never make that face again. it pains me.

Moving on! Shan Bao goes shopping for a push up bra!

AND SO DOES SOMEONE ELSE.

Main couple from Fated to Love You, plus baby, look at ad picture on the wall of a woman in her underwear. Subtitles say, 'It's Anna.' Woman smiles, man looks startled.

Here the happy couple from FtLY admires Anna's boobs! NO REALLY. They hear an anguished cry from the fitting room, and..Xiao Shi? is that her name? I dont remember..goes to investigate. And..help. She grabs Shan Bao's boobs to help position the bra, but it doesnt do much good.

See the theme here? BOOOOOBS.

Shan Bao from the shoulders up, clearly topless, holding a vacuum pump

Shan Bao from the shoulders up, using machine out of view, thinking about boobs the size of pumpkins.

Shan Bao takes matters into her own hands with a scary looking device and the use of her father's sauce room. At the same time, Invincible (I keep wanting to call him Delicious, instead, and yes, he is) busts in with a live investigation of the flat chested ghost and the bbq place, because that vid has knocked his Pimp Daddy show out of the youtube top spot. So, he has his camera crew and they are ROLLING.

...if you dont know where this is going, i am ashamed of you. really.

Surprise, Invincible LOVES their food! Dad shows them around cheerfully, cautioning them that this is his TOP SECRET SUPER SPECIAL REASON FOR SUCCESS. The door swings open! The cameras are rolling!

Shan Bao's naked back, in the doorway is Invincible, her entire family, his manager and the cameraman. Invincible looks disbelieving, everyone else is shocked.

Invincible with his arms around Shan Bao. He has thrown his coat over her chest to cover her.

Invincible slams the door shut and throws his coat over her. And then compliments the firmness of her...no, silly, we already KNOW she doesnt have those..no, he compliments the firmness of her BICEPS. her biceps are a touchy subject, so she throws him (and his coat) off of her, and then throws him through the door.

BEST PART COMING UP!

He refuses to give up the video, and keeps telling her he's going to air it..dont worry, woobie kicks in, he really wont, he's just messing with her.

but, she breaks in to his house to takes pictures of him IN THE SHOWER to get even. you know what that means? WET NAKED NICK!

HAVE SOME CAPS!

Invincible, covered in bubbles, hasn't noticed Shan Bao.

Shocked, wet, naked, and covered in bubbles, Invincible covers his chest.

Invincible, still shocked, naked, and bubbly, finally covers his crotch.

More shocked faces, Invincible covers his chest, subtitles say, 'Hey, what are you doing?!'

My favorite part of all this is that she's taking pictures (AND GRABBING THE SHOWER NOZZLE TO SPRAY THE BUBBLES OFF HIS CROTCH) and he is COVERING HIS CHEST.

but that isnt the best part. no, no. not at ALL.

the best part?

Oh, Taiwan, i love you.

the best part is that they SHOW US THE NAKED PICTURE.

with one awesome awesome addition.

ROCKET PENIS, MY FRIENDS. ROCKET PENIS.

Shan Bao's fingers holding a cell phone with a pic of Invincible in the shower looking shocked. There is a cgi rocket with a cross out over it pasted directly over Invincible's penis.

And that is only the first two episodes. After that? kidnappings! discussion of Invincible's penis and how much it would bring on the black market! the airing of the "naked video!" him revealing what was REALLY behind the blurred lines of the aired video - a D cup in a bikini! they also discuss her bra size on his tv show and let the world admire her (heavily padded by his wardrobe people - it is an awesome scene) boobs!

they've already fallen for each other. and they see each other naked ALL THE TIME. I think they should just make out, already.

IT IS SOOO MUCH CRACK, I REALLY REALLY WANT MORE.

Comments

*giggles*

You really, really like the crack,ne?

I'm never going to get you to watch Ao no Hokono or Letters from Iwo Jima, am I?

Also? Missa has abandoned me tonight. I is lonely.

ANd also wanting an Arashi vid to "Somewhere Out There."
the crack loves ME. next on my list is the new show about Nanba-sempai in BUTLER SCHOOL! *glee*

I'm never going to get you to watch Ao no Hokono or Letters from Iwo Jima, am I?

chances are low, but i DO want to see Letters! I do! it's just..death! and war! *wibble*

wanting an Arashi vid to "Somewhere Out There."

EXCELLENT. PLEASE MAKE THIS.
1. You are awesome.
2. This show looks awesome.
3. I LOVE YOU.

Seriously, this is a fantastic pimp post! I love the pictures, I love Ethan, his baby, and his eyebrows, and NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK. Also, a romance where the two leads see each other naked ALL THE TIME?

COUNT ME IN!

And while the infamous Rocket Penis was awesome, Nick playing his own father with a terrible moustache was probably the thing that makes me want to watch it. WHY SO HIDEOUS, MOUSTACHE!NICK?!

And I can't wait to see the pimp daddy sequence and the behind-the-scenes. I don't usually watch them but I need to see it when Nick's involved.

LOVE! ♥
a romance where the two leads see each other naked ALL THE TIME

ALL THE TIME. in ep 1, she offers to let him feel her up, nearly gropes his crotch, and he nearly grabs her boobs. Also, he kisses her, but to make ex-girl jealous. IT BACKFIRES HORRIBLY and he makes Shan Bao cry.

ep 2, he sees her boobs and compliments her..biceps. she jumps him in the shower and SPRAYS HIS CROTCH to get rid of the bubbles and take better pictures.

ep 3, they're pressed chest to chest and he notices her nearly nonexistant boobs. Also, they're kidnapped and thrown in a freezer while he's in his bathrobe. then, they discuss her boobs and his penis. THEN she warms him with her own body.

ep 4, the naked video is played on air, he gives her a makeover that involves a TON of falsies, brings her on the Pimp Daddy show, unblurs the naked video to reveal..Shan Bao in a bikini with BOOBS

ep 5, it's Invincible in a towel again..and he totally drops it, and she totally looks!

LOTS OF NAKED AND HALF NAKED AND IT IS HILARIOUS.

And, i love the rocket penis, i truely do, but look at it CLOSELY. it is actually a NEGATIVE Rocket Penis. the rocket is crossed over with a red NO sign. AM CONTEMPLATING WHAT THIS MEANS ABOUT THE PENIS UNDER IT. is it..not ready for take off? small? cannot be shown on tv?
I had forgotten how incredibly wacky this was. Curious, have you seen Rolling Love at all? Its not totally insane but definitely has elements of crackiness.
ARASHI: Sho and Aiba - Laugh

October 2014

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