“You should see the other guy.”
No, I dont think so. How about, “I’m Ok, You’re Ok, He’s Ok.”
But, we’ll go with this.
“I just got hit by a semi truck.”
It’s simple, it’s straightforward..and it has the added benefit of being absolutely true.
We headed out from Dalton, GA bright and early this morning, headed home to NC - Brandus in the Penske, and me and the Dark Lord in my car, which had been living at my parents’ house during our insanity in Alaska. We were sort of traveling together - we knew I would have to stop multiple times, due to Voldemort, and Brandus wanted to drive straight through, as we have a deadline to return the Penske tomorrow.
So, we got separated. Not a big deal, we knew it would happen, we both have phones, both knew the directions, I had to stop early as the child was hungry, and I got behind Brandus by about 40 minutes.
We’re humming along, no big deal, the Dark One is chowing down on a teething cookie I gave him to keep him amused. Im in the left hand lane, and Im working on inching up to pass a truck in the right lane. I have a couple of gummy bears in my hand.
His blinker goes on.
His cab starts moving my way. Quickly.
There is no way humanly possible for me to avoid him. Ive got a guard rail on my left, and Im about even with the front tire on the trailer.
I hit the brakes, hit the horn, hit ANYTHING, but it’s too late.
He hits me on the right side, his tire hitting mine, and shoves me into the guardrail.
Supposedly, in life or death moments, your life is supposed to flash through your mind. Or maybe I should have been thinking, “THE BABY!” but honestly, the only thing that ACTUALLY went through my mind, besides “shitshitFUCKFUCKFUCKSHIT!” was “Hey, was that my hubcap that just flew away?”
We got LUCKY, I am very very aware of that. He hit on the right side, which is the side the Kid sits on. My right front hubcap is gone, the right side mirror is gone, Ive got an imprint of a semitruck tire on my tire, some scratches and bumps and dings ON THE CAR, but the kid and I are completely fine.
I looked up into the mirror to see if he was ok as soon as I got the car stopped, and he was sitting there, still happily eating his cookie. The truckdriver came running to check on us as soon as he got stopped, and he just freaked out when he saw that I had a baby.
I could barely stand up from shaking when I got out of the car, but, we are otherwise fine.
And in more good news, the troopers didn’t give me a ticket for my expired plates.