Original Fic: Need (A Hundred Times More Remix) - rinalin
Author's note: Yes, a remix of a remix of something I wrote in the first place. Just go with it. For the Slacker's Remix-a-Lot Challange.
Summery: River knows, but says she doesn't.
River knows. River knows, and pretends she doesn't, because it would all come out in a jumble anyway and someone would get hurt.
Maybe it would be Kaylee, who wants someone who wants her. And he wants her - all smile and shine just for him. Kaylee cries when she's hurt, and nobody likes the sunshine to turn to rain.
It might be Inara, who should see, but doesn't. She turns plastic eyes onto him, who sees what she needs, but she doesn't really see. He cares for her porcelain habits, knowing she might break under him.
Zoe and Wash could be hurt, possibly, as no one else would understand their actions reactions. Both know of one, but not the others. He makes her laugh, and she makes him come, and he can take orders and insults in equal measure without failing to measure up.
Won't be Simon, who isn't involved with his internal organs. He understands chemical releases and body functions but not the attraction of mussing up perfectly made hair and seeing someone too young with too much on his shoulders actually sleep the sleep of the unburdened. Simon counts on his lungs/kidneys/espophogus, but doesn't count on anyone. He should.
No one would believe it of Book, but he would be shamed, and that's a type of hurt. Urges should be given up to one better able to handle them, and the preacher doesn't understand that is what he has done. It's a honor, but it wouldn't be acceptable in the eyes of an imaginary friend.
It wouldn't be Mal. Mal would call names and never think that it's the captain's duty to understand the why and the twist of the sheets. The captain gives orders, and then gives more, and they don't add up and soldier boys aren't just made of metal and tin.
Can't be River. She flows and twists, and wouldn't be hurt if it came out. She turns herself to be someone else, all of else, but he sees past to the girl underneath. He teaches, patience in his hands on hers as she moves for the first times. He is slow and steady and strong, and she wishes she could tell him that she is a gazelle with a tortoise inside.
Would be Jayne who hurt though, if they all knew what they know. Accusations and lies and unprovable physics - a cat that might be in a box. But she won't be the one to open the box, so he is always alive and dead at the same time. A living dead man, who wants to be what they want him to be.
River sees what happens with him and them and her and her and him and him. She understands the ways and whys of his body count, but she pretends she doesn't. Because then he would stop. And he would go.
His eyes shine with pleasure when she breaks under him, and she turns her face away.