Spoilers: *snickers helplessly*
Summery: literarylemming started it. she started to write me a Choose Your Own Adventure (which you can read in full here - and OMG PLEASE DO, BECAUSE ITS AWESOME AND FABULOUS) with Birdy and Sir Danny (Danny Love from The Inside) and i had to choose where each one went..and at one point, one of the options was for Birdy to turn into a muffin.
This is NOT my fault.
On the wall in the grocery store, there was a display case.
In this display case were pastries of every shape and kind. Bearclaws
and donuts and cookies and muffins of all kinds. Many a patron had
gotten lost for hours, trying to decide which tasty pastry to take
home and enjoy.
The pastries enjoyed their popularity, and after the store was closed
and the lights were out, would giggle and talk and gossip about the
people who had come to stare into their displays on that day.
One shy little mini muffin did not participate.
The others were too loud, too big, too overwhelming.
Birdy, for that was the muffin's name, hung in the back and watched.
She was an apple cinnamon muffin, one who always smelled good and
looked very sweet.
But no one ever bought her to take home with them, for she was so shy
and quiet that no one noticed her.
Secretly, Birdy really wished to be lifted and placed in a secure
little bag and taken home with someone.
But no one ever did.
The other pastries preened and showed off when the case was opened,
begging to be chosen, but Birdy shrank back into her little corner (as
far away as she could get from the scary bearclaws as she could get),
and watched others get chosen and taken away.
She was very sad.
But one day, after the lights had gone out and Birdy was slowly making
her way back to her basket, she bumped into someone.
A large, sticky someone.
"Oh!" She gasped, looking up and up and up into the eyes of the
largest donut she had ever seen. "I..I.." she stammered.
The donut looked down and seemed surprised to have nearly run over
someone so very tiny. "Ooops!" He said with a chuckle. "Little one,
shouldnt you be back in your basket? Its time for good little muffins
to be in bed."
To Birdy's horror, the unexpected kindness sent into tears. "I..I'm
so sorry!" She sobbed. "I didnt mean to run into you!"
The donut was looking at her with concern. "No harm done, little
one," he soothed her. "It was just a little bump."
"But I could have punctured you or squished you, and then no one would
pick you out to love and take home!" Birdy was crying in earnest now,
and the donut looked a little lost for what to do.
"Easy, sweet," he said quietly. "What's your name?"
"Birdy," she hiccuped, trying to wipe her tears away.
"I'm Danny, little Birdy. Its nice to meet you." The donut smiled at
her hopefully, and he was so sweet that she couldnt stop herself from
smiling back through her tears.
"Hi, Danny." She waved a little, the smell of cinnamon wafting through the air.
"Hi, Birdy." He hunkered down beside her and wiped her face with a
napkin. His touch was gentle, and Birdy found herself blushing the
color of apples.
Danny escorted her back to her little basket in the back of the case,
and made sure she was well tucked in before leaving. "Goodnight,
Birdy was so exhausted from her crying that she fell straight to
sleep, and didnt even see Danny lean over her to check on her again.
She didnt hear him whisper, "Apple cinnamon is my favorite." She was
too deeply asleep.
The next day, Birdy wanted desperately to go see Danny again, but the
others were everywhere, and were so loud, that she couldnt get through
them to the place where the donuts rested during the day.
She tried, but she was a very small muffin, and she was very afraid of
At the end of the day, she rushed back to where she had run into the
handsome donut the night before, but he was nowhere to be seen.
"Perhaps he was sold today!" She thought. And while she was happy for
him, that he had gotten selected and taken home, she was sad, as he
had been the closest thing she had to a friend in the display case.
The night was very lonely.
The next day, she looked again, but still didnt see him. She used her
small size as an advantage and wiggled and squirmed to the front of
the case, trying to see if Danny was with the donuts anywhere. But he
"Oh, Jayne! Little, tiny and sweet!" A girl leaned over the case,
her long dark hair hanging down around her face as she gestured
Birdy glanced around, trying to see who the girl was talking about.
But there was no one else there but...her?
A large man stepped up beside the girl and squinted down at Birdy.
Birdy wanted to hide, but she was too scared to move.
"That little thing cant be more than a mouthful, baby girl," the big
man said. "Let's get you something with a little more substance."
The girl shook her head. "Want this one. Will warm me from the
inside." She shot a beseeching look at the big man, eyes wide and
The man grimaced when she looked at him like that. "Fine," he
grumbled. "But you still have the donut you picked out yesterday that
you ain't touched yet."
"Waiting for her," she told him.
He looked confused. "That supposed to mean something?"
With a scoop of the tongs, Birdy was chosen. She was excited and
terrified as she was dropped into the plastic bag that proclaimed,
HEAT ME! ENJOY ME!
The trip to Birdy's new home went by in a blur. She was removed
carefully from the bag by the girl with large eyes.
"Dont worry," the girl told her solomly. "You are safe here. Apples
and cinnamon for perfume, and sweet inside as a cherry." She lay a
gentle kiss on Birdy's top, and Birdy blushed apple red.
Birdy was placed inside a snug basket, then placed into a box with a
door that shut. It was dark inside, and she shivered in fear.
"He..hello?" Her voice tremored.
The voice was deep and familiar.
"Danny!" she exclaimed happily. "You are here!"
He grinned down at her as she threw herself at him. "I am," he said,
"and so are you."
She cuddled into his side happily. "Now, neither of us is alone!"