Summery: LATE fic for rinalin's bday. SORRY! She wanted Kaylee's birthday, and Jayne and River interaction.
The whole crew usually made a fuss over Kaylee on her birthday. Half of that was usually because she spent a good two weeks ahead of time reminding people about it, and the other half had to do with the fact she was easy to keep happy.
Plus, they all liked to see her smiley.
Last year, she had made them all wear hats, even Mal and Jayne, which should have been funny. But Jayne wore funny hats all the time, and Mal refused to wear it unless it was a bonnet, so really, it was Zoë who ended up looking funny.
This year, Kaylee had already been bouncing all over the ship for the past week, reminding people in a singsong voice that she was gonna be needing a cake right soon. 'Course, they had run out of flour the week before, and they weren't anywhere close enough to make a stop to pick anything up that might be used to make something shiny for her.
Which was why Jayne was digging through storage lockers, looking for anything to give her a party.
It was his idea, which he would deny, and Mal would laugh at, but he wanted to be able to do something. And with nothing on board that could be turned into a cake, and no strawberries, and no funny hats, he weren't feeling too creative.
Jayne kicked the side of a box when all it had in it was broken bolts.
"Could throw them like confetti?" A small voice offered.
He glared at the girl hovering in the doorway. "Yeah, and then we'd all have holes in our brains, genius."
She made a face at him. "Don't have holes, gun man, have scrambled eggs."
His stomach growled. "Aw, come on, girl, don't be talking about eggs right now."
"You don't want to eat my brains." She floated further into the room, bending over to examine the box of bolts he had just kicked. "They aren't spicy enough. Besides, I need them."
"Are you helping or not?" He demanded.
She sighed and touched her tongue to her nose. "Yes, Kaylee is having a meaningless day and she needs a party."
"Got any ideas?" He was hopeful; the girl had smarts, even if they were a little scrambled. "Besides the bolt confetti idea, which is just dumb."
"You could make her cookies."
"With what, 'xactly?" He slumped onto a box. "We ain't got nothing."
"We could have a tea party!" The girl clapped her hands excitedly. "Nothing is needed for a tea party!"
"'Cept tea, and I'm not sure we got enough left."
"No tea is needed!"
Jayne grunted in disbelief. "I'd think you'd need tea for a tea party, girl." He paused. "Unless you're talking about..."
She was hopping up and down eagerly.
"Oh, hell, no."
She spun in a circle. "We can borrow a tea set from Inara!"
"You and Kaylee and Inara and Zoë can have a tea party," he said, backing up into another box to put some space between the two of them. "I'll do..something else."
She frowned. "Kaylee and me and Jayne will have a tea party," she said stubbornly. "Kaylee would like him to be there."
The big man saw her determined face and groaned, finally resorting to whining. "I don’t wanna go to a tea party, girl!"
"Not even for Kaylee?"
He slumped against the wall in defeat. Groaning, he said, “Alright, alright, what do I gotta do?”
She tilted her head to one side in thought. “Jayne should go shower and shave.”
“Shave?” he yelped, one hand going to his beard protectively. “There ain’t no way!”
River sighed, rolling her eyes. “Then at least shower and change clothes. Kaylee likes nice dress.”
“I don’t got nothing nice,” he was whining now. Gorram girl wanted him to shave, get dressed up, and play tea party. And he weren’t wanting to do a bit of it.
She merely gave him a stern look, and pointed.
He slunk from the room, grumbling about dumb girls and their dumb ideas.
River smiled as Kaylee popped up behind her.
“Think he bought it?” the mechanic asked, eyes sparkling with excitement.
“I think you’re going to have the nicest looking Jayne at your tea party that anyone has ever seen, Kaylee.”
Both girls giggled, linking their arms together.
“We better get everything else set up,” River tugged on Kaylee’s arm. “Or Jayne will suspect.”
“Do you got the capture hidden?”
“He will never know.”
“’Til we develop the thing, and show it to everyone, anyway.”