Summery: Inspired by magelette’s “Even Fugies in Space Can NaNoWriMo" icon. Then, I mentioned it to literarylemming, and we bandied it back and forth in AIM, and now its smut. NaNoWriMo Smut. I have no excuses. Except, it’s the end of November, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
Once upon a time...
River frowned. "Cliché," she muttered, balling up the paper and throwing it aside. "Cliché and temporally redundant."
She scowled down at the balls of paper surrounding her. “Implausible and hopeless!”
“What is?” Simon stuck his head in the door, half asleep. “And why are you awake? It’s three am.”
She gestured to the papers. “Writing words and words, fifty thousand!” She crumpled up another piece and threw it at him. “Fifty thousand! Not impossible, but cannot be done! She started late and there are vampires.”
Simon blinked in confusion as paper bounced off his chest. “Um. I’m..sorry?” His hair was sticking up every which way and he looked half asleep.
“Go back to bed, Simon.” River was already smoothing out a crumbled paper from the floor. “All the words count. Even the trite ones.”
Simon blinked at his sister, curled up on her bed, scribbling frantically. “Uh. Ok. Wake me up if you need something.”
By day four, River had hit a wall. She wandered up and down the hallways, muttering to herself, clutching paper that was scribbled on as small as possible.
As this wasn’t unusual for River, no one really noticed.
She took over the entire mess table at one point, by the simple means of standing right next to Jayne and running her finger over the scar she left on his chest.
He stumbled out of the door in no time, fleeing to the safety of the cargo bay.
The mess had more room to spread out and outline. Zoë didn’t even blink. She just held her plate above the accumulation of papers. “What are you writing?” she asked, turning her head sidewise to try and read it.
River snatched it away. “Cannot read! Will interrupt the process! Must follow the chain of command. Editor to Publisher to Store to Consumer.”
Zoë just raised her eyebrows. “Where am I on there?”
By the end of week two, she was running out of paper, and had taken to writing on her walls. This ended with Mal trying to yell at her, and her bursting into tears. “She cannot write without paper, and she has no way of making more!” She shoved shredded fabric in his face. “This cannot be made as paper, no matter how hard she tries!”
Mal got her more paper without fussing. Simon held her and calmed her down, until he realized the fabric she had been trying to make into paper used to be his vests.
By week four, she was haunting the hallways, randomly accosting crew members and demanding answers to nonsensical questions.
As, again, this wasn’t that unusual for River, nobody worried about it.
It was late, close to the end of the week, and she still had words left to write. She was also, stuck. Her heroine had gotten in over her head, and she had no idea how to get her out.
It was Jayne’s bad luck that he came striding down the hallway at that point. The rest of the boat was already in bed, and so he wasn’t expecting her to be standing there in the hallway outside the mess.
He definitely wasn’t expecting her to grab his collar and ask him, in a very intent voice, ”What would you do if she lost her dress?”
Jayne, being who he is, answered the only way he could. “Uh, fuck her?”
River released his collar as suddenly as she had grabbed it. “Of course! Sex is a useful distraction; he will not see this coming! Why didn’t I think of that?” She whirled.
He made a grab for her arm. “Hey, wait!”
She was already halfway down the hallway, so he gave chase. “Are you saying you’re gonna lose your dress?”
She shook him off impatiently. “Don’t be silly! She is still in the cave with the monsters. She would get cold.”
Jayne blinked in confusion. “Is that supposed to be some kinda sexual innuendo?”
She whirled back to him, beaming. “Out the window! Yes!”
River wasn’t listening. Her mind was spinning with new possibilities for her heroine. “She will have to stand on his shoulders!”
“She will?” Jayne asked blankly. “Uh..is she wearing knickers under that dress?”
“How else is she supposed to reach the ceiling?” She shook her head at him, obviously not hearing the part about the knickers.
Jayne was starting to get frustrated. He had enough trouble following the girl when she was speaking normal. "Well, how the hell am I supposed to know you wanna reach the ceiling? And when you gonna get to losing that dress?"
River blinked, finally tuning in completely. “What?”
He blinked right back. “Huh?”
She smiled up at him suddenly. “Do you like cheese?”
“Uh,” Jayne managed, his mind still wondering about ceilings and dresses. “Yes?”
She reached up and patted him on the face. “Me too.” She spun on one foot. “But I have to go now. She is battling vampires, and just lost her stake.”
“Steak?” Jayne’s ears perked up. “Hang on, you had steak?” He followed her down the hallway. “And why are you carrying on about cheese, anyway?”
River rolled her eyes and kept walking. “Not steak. Stake”
“That’s what I said!”
River waved over her shoulder, but was yanked to a stop by one arm. “Gorrammit, woman, you know how long it's been since I had red meat?"
River looked up at him with wide eyes. “Red meat?” Something clicked in her brain. She stopped dead in her tracks and clutched her hair. “Of course! That’s how she can distract the wolf!”
Jayne was lost again. River’s brain was moving way too fast for him. Not that he had a clue what she was talking about anyway. “Wolf?” He looked around in confusion. “What wolf?”
River tilted her head to the side, lost in thought for a moment. “Do you have any silver bullets?” she asked curiously.
He eyed her cautiously. Her talking bullets and guns isn’t usually a good thing. "Have you gone more cracked girl? ‘Course I don't carry silver bullets.” He made a face. “Things don't shoot worth shit."
Her shoulders slumped suddenly. “She has no bullets!” She leaned against the wall. “But how else do you kill werewolves?” She pondered for a moment, eyeing Jayne thoughtfully. She looked up and down the hall, but they were the only ones there. River grabbed his shoulder and tugged her mouth up next to his ear, ready to divulge a critical plot point. “The vampire almost has the girl naked.” She nodded excitedly, resting her chin on his shoulder. “She is very scared.”
With the comments from earlier about losing the dress, and adding in this about her being naked, Jayne came to the sudden conclusion that River was making a pass at him. Of course, since she was crazy, she was going about it kinda weird, but hell, he could play along. “Almost nekkid, huh?” He snaked an arm around her waist where she was leaning up against him.
She nodded against his shoulder. “Almost. And will be, if she isn’t careful.”
He tugged her closer to him. “She need somebody to save her, maybe?” He ducked his head a little, so he could smell her hair. “You gotta burn werewolves, I think.”
She tilted her head, “Burning?” She finally seemed to realize where she was. She leaned back against his arms, eyes wide at the hungry look on his face. She swallowed hard, but tried to keep talking. “He could save her?”
“Yeah, sure, he could.” He pulled River up tight against his chest. “Burn, baby, burn,” he whispered in her ear.
She trembled a little in his arms, but wasn’t pulling away. So he took it one step further. “But see, she’s gotta leave her clothes behind, ‘cause the werewolf’s infected them, and anyone who touches that dress in the light of the full moon?” He nipped lightly at her neck. “Gonna be a werewolf too.”
“Not sure that part follows canon,” her voice was shaking. “But it could be another two thousand words, at least.” Her little hands were kneading at his chest like a cat. Her head had fallen back at the first touch of his mouth.
He wasn’t paying too much attention to what that meant, but he kept talking. “Sure, hell, could be three thousand, if you want.” He ran his tongue up her neck, liking the little noises she was making. “Don’t you know it ain’t safe, showing off your jugular like that? Any big bad wolf could come and bite you, right there.” He scraped his teeth lightly over her jugular.
She whimpered in his arms. “She would fight back,” she gasped as his hot mouth moved over her ear. “But she isn’t sure she wants to.”
“That right?” He breathed.
She tightened her hands in his shirt. “Is the wolf good or bad?”
He nuzzled her cheek with a little grin. “What do you think, little girl?” He licked her ear lightly. “You’re the gorram reader.”
She laid her head on his chest, dizzy. “Reader, writer, writing words,” she whispered.
“Right, crazy reader writer.” Jayne smoothed his hands down her back, concentrating on the feel of her little body shaking up against him. “Little girl?”
She turned her face up to him, big eyes catching some of his hunger. “Big bad wolf,” she whispered to him.
He grinned. “You got it.” He lifted her up to eye level. “Big.” Stepped over to the wall. “Bad.” Pressed her up against it. “Wolf.”
She shifted against him. “Growling and snarling, going to eat me up,” she moaned. She cupped his face in her hands. “Is he good or bad?” she asked again.
“Oh, bao bai, I’m the worst.”
She focused big eyes on him, pinning him in place with nothing but a look. “Will he take her back to his cave?” She ran her nails down his back lightly. “Little Red has her own teeth, if he misbehaves.”
“Oh, I got a den set by, could take you there.” A feral grin stole over his face. “But Little Red’s gotta promise to use them teeth.” His hand slid up to caress the side of her breast.
She shivered a little, but gave him a slow smile and shifted her hips, making him gasp. “And will he keep her?” She pouted at him. “Or will he eat up all her goodies and leave her alone in the woods?” River let herself taste him, flicking her tongue over his clavicle. “She has much work to do, and does not wish to waste her time on a man in a wolf suit.”
He shuddered at the feel of her little mouth sliding over his chest like that. “Gorramit, Red,” he gasped. “Don’t you know wolves mate for life?” He buried his face in her neck as she continued her soft exploration.
She whispered in his ear, “Heard it, heard it, little voices.” Little fingers combed through the hair on the nape of his neck. “Words can lie, need to have bodies touch and tell.”
“Oh yeah,” he moaned against her neck as she tightened her legs around him.
“Wolves and little girls are dangerous things,” she warned him. “There could be repercussions.” She moaned as he pulled her tighter against him. “Take her anyway.”
“Don’t care ‘bout no reaper cussings.” He pushed away from the wall, River still in his arms. “Wo de ma, girl, I’m taking you home.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Reap what you sow.” She dragged her tongue across his jaw line. “Hurry hurry, she wants him to see what is under her cape.”
“Just keep it on one more second, let me get you to back to my den.” Jayne nearly stumbled at her hot little hands sliding down his chest.
She sing songed in his ear, “Cape as red as blood.” She dragged her nails across his stomach.
“Oh, gorram,” he choked. “Hang on.” He pressed her up against the wall outside his bunk and scrabbled at her skirt, swearing when he couldn’t get it to cooperate. “Help me here, girl.”
She giggled in his ear. “Lift me up higher.”
“Raise your arms, bao bai, and we gotta be quick.” He ran his hands over her ass as he tugged her higher. “Ain’t no one else gonna see you nekked ‘til I have.”
“High as heaven,” she agreed, slipping her dress over her head. She held it in front of her, blocking his view. “A kiss for the cape,” she teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” he groaned, not listening. “You just drop that bit of frippery right down there,” he said, kicking the door to his bunk open and balancing her carefully in his arms.
She nipped at his lower lip with sharp little teeth. “The wolf forgot the price.” In a second, she was out of his arms and down the ladder. One pale arm came back into his view and dropped her dress on the floor.
“The pri-Oh! Gorramit!” He clambered eagerly down the ladder after her. “I’ll pay you double, just let me see you nekkid.”
She ducked under the covers on his bed, holding them up to cover her. “Have to pay the toll,” she reminded him. “Clip clop, cross the bridge.” She raised herself up on her knees and leaned towards him expectantly.
He tugged at the blanket, “What do I gotta pay?”
She let the blanket slip a little, giving him a hint of what he couldn’t see. “He knows the price.” She slid up against him, blanket between them. “Pay it easy, won’t miss anything.” She nuzzled against his mouth, eyes wide. “What big teeth you have.”
He shivered at the feel of her skin under his fingers. “What big eyes you got, Red.” He took a hold of her hair, bending her back. “Big and brown,” he whispered. He lowered his mouth to hers.
“Big and bad,” she breathed before they touched.
He nodded as he closed the distance between them. “The baddest.”