Superfail! (aliaspiral) wrote,

Firefly Fic: Monkey Business

Title: Monkey Business
Author: alianora
Summery: Monkey see, monkey do...
A/N: *facepalm* rinalin, all your fault!

Simon had sort of known it would probably be a mistake to take her to the zoo, but he had pictured screaming. Fits over ice cream. Riding the merry go round a few hundred times.

He didn’t picture having to try to coax her down from the catwalks with dehydrated bananas.

She had been having a great day. They were on one of the more high scale border worlds, and Simon had wanted to take the chance to get her off the ship for a while before the Captain got the job and started getting shot at for whatever reason.

She had a blast.

She ate cotton candy (somehow smearing some down Jayne’s neck when they got back, Simon had yet to figure that one out), she rode the train, and she even petted a giraffe.

And then, she saw the monkeys.

Simon had tried to keep up with her, but he was hampered by carrying her stuffed seal and the leftover cotton candy.

She was already scaling the fence when Simon caught up with her. He had to physically pry her off the enclosure and make her stay back. But when he tried to make her go home, she started screaming.

They had ended up staying there for over five hours.

Simon had barely managed to drag her all the way back to Serenity.

He kept having to get her out of the trees.

And now, here he was, standing in the cargo bay, with a handful of banana chips, begging his baby sister to stop reenacting scenes from Gorillas in the Mist.

Mal had thought it was funny. Jayne had thought it was funny. Book had smiled tolerantly at her, until River started trying to pick nits out of his hair.

All amusement had ended when they had dinner and River flung an entire spoonful of protein mush at Inara.

Jayne had found it hysterical, naturally, which was why the Captain had banished him to the cargo bay to help Simon while Zoë went to help Inara get the muck off her fancy outfit.

Really, he wasn’t helping, and as far as Simon was concerned, Jayne could go away at any time now.

Jayne had resorted to throwing banana chips at her, in the hopes of getting a lucky shot and at least pegging her in the forehead.

She was entirely too fast and had caught every single chip tossed at her with a hoot of thank you.

But this had now been going on for over an hour, and River still wouldn’t come down from the catwalks.

And her hoots and yells echoed throughout the ship painfully.

“Come on, girl!” Jayne finally yelled. “I’m getting tired, and my supper’s got cold while you are being a freak!”

“She cannot!” River called down. “The one on the floor is her own species, and inappropriate conduct would proceed, and her brother would not be amused.”

“What?” Jayne, as always, looked confused.

Simon rolled his eyes, even though he had no clue what sort of “inappropriate conduct” she was talking about.

“I won’t disapprove, River!” He called. “Please come down?” He offered his handful of banana chips hopefully.

“You won’t like it.” Her voice was taunting.

“How do you know?” He was starting to get whiny. Kaylee was going to show him around the engine room tonight, and if this took much longer, she might change her mind.

“He is her own species, and she will greet him as such!”

“What the hell, girl?” Jayne was staring upwards at her. “Just come down! I’m hungry!”

“Always hungry, Kong.”


“King Kong, he who stalks through the night!”

With that odd statement, River landed gracefully off of the catwalk in front of Simon.

Grabbing a banana chip out of his hand, she whirled and poked Jayne in the chest.

“She will not be carried to the top of the building, but she will do her own climbing!”

“What?” Jayne started to say, just as River tossed the rest of her banana chip over her shoulder and literally climbed right up Jayne into his arms.

He gawked at her.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and smiled at him. “Gorillas often smell bad, but I would prefer it if you bathed.”

Jayne tried to shove her off, but she wasn’t budging.

“River!” Simon exclaimed.

“The females choose among the males. I choose this one.” She wrapped her arms around the protesting mercenary’s neck. “Can I have a banana?”

Tags: firefly fic

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