Summery: In Take Two Fuzzy Navels..Jayne mentions a girl bought him a fruity drink. Who better than to buy that drink than River?
Jayne was feeling pretty damn good.
The job had gone alright, which by his standards meant that nobody but who he was aiming at had gotten shot. Which meant he had just pulled a decent payday, and he was aiming to fleece the next two idiots out of a little more coin.
Hell, even the doc had come out to the bar with 'em this time. Course, where big brother went, little crazy sister went too. But she seemed to be busy being only slightly weird, so he weren't gonna worry on it none.
He was lining up his next shot when she appeared at his elbow, bending over so far he could've hit her in the head with the pool cue without aiming to. Which would've been fun, but Mal was sitting right there, and Jayne was pretty sure Mal wouldn't be amused.
She examined the pool table, her face inches from the felt.
"Move on, girl," he ordered. "You're blocking my shot." Plus, the two fellows he was busy beating was looking a mite annoyed at her getting in the way of what they thought would be a bad shot.
She turned her head, staring up at him through her hair. "He uses math to kill people, too."
"Angles are congruent." She studied the placement of his pool cue for a moment more. She corrected his aim by about an inch. "Now you will shave them."
"What?" He knew she weren't making no sense. Which is why it disturbed him that he kinda understood what it was she said.
She sighed. "Beat them. I have bet on you."
"You have coin?"
"You can't have it." With that, she floated over to a bar stool beside the pool table. He weren't sure how she sat like that without falling over, but it seemed to work.
The two bully boys he was playing against seemed a mite uneasy about that weird little girl watching so close, but they didn't say nothing, and she didn't seem to be interested in doing anything but watching.
So, he ignored her, and went back to shearing the sheep.
Gorramit, that sounded like something she would say.
He scowled down at the pool table, and decided he weren't just gonna win, he was gonna wipe the table with these two.
Within about two shots, it was pretty obvious they had figured that out.
They didn't count the money over willing, but they did it. Probably because the crazy girl informed them that he would eviscerate them with a pool cue if they didn't. He weren't quite sure what that was, but he knew it involved guts. Preferably theirs.
The girl hopped down and flitted over to the bartender, where she leaned over and said something nutty. It sounded kinda like cross between bird and plant. Who knows.
And it looked like the bartender didn't appreciate it none. 'Cause he was shaking his head and the girl was waving her arms, and Jayne could just see a brawl starting with her in the middle if she knocked over everybody's drinks.
The girl was insisting on something about sheep and the rights to branding when he got up there next to her, and she whirled around and poked one little finger in his chest.
"Withholding is unfair!"
"Coin earned is coin deserved." She stamped her foot and pointed at the bartender. "Will not hand over just desserts!"
"Hey, now," Jayne objected. "She won your money fair and square. Pay up."
The bartender tried to argue, but Jayne just weren't up to listening to it. So he saved some time by hauling the man halfway over the bar where the girl could reach into the man's shirt pocket and pull out the money she had won.
She grinned up at him happily, clutching a whole pile of credits to her.
"How'd you get him to bet so much money on me?"
"Sightless and stupid." She giggled into her hands. "He thought you were a bear!"
"That didn't make no sense, you know that?"
"She knows!" Her smile didn't fade in the slightest.
"How's about you buy me a drink then, seeing as I made you all that money?"
"Nope, money for necessary things."
"What kinda necessary things does a crazy girl have?" He waved the barman for a beer and turned to look at her.
She clambered onto a stool next to his. She grabbed the beer outta the barman's hand and stuck her nose in it. "Smells like Simon's socks." She wrinkled her nose and shoved it at him. "You drink it."
"I'm aiming to."
"I need lacy underthings. And a hair ribbon. And a tiger."
He 'bout near spit out his drink. "Don't you be talking about underthings in a place like this, girl!" He glanced around, but nobody seemed to have been paying any attention.
"Well, never you mind." He glared at her for a second, before turning back to his beer.
She watched him. Which would've been a little strange if she had done it from her seat. Instead, she felt it necessary to lean real close into his space. Like, her hands on his leg close. And that made him all kinds of uncomfortable.
"Why don't you get your own drink?" He shoved her offa him. "Then you don't have to watch me drink mine."
She tilted her head to the side and examined his face. "Alcohol might react oddly with my medications."
"Will it make you any more crazy?"
"No." She shifted on the stool until she was half standing, with one foot on the seat. It looked kinda uncomfortable, but she seemed fine.
"Then get something. You got the coin." He waved down the barman for her.
She just looked at him. She seemed unsure. She glanced at the array of liquors behind the bar.
The barman was looking impatient.
He took a swig of beer and rolled his eyes. "Look, you want something or not?"
"Simon will not like it."
"Simon is way over there." The doc was poring over some dusty old book he had found somewhere. He hadn't done more than glance up for his sister since she had jumped up beside the pool table.
The barman was now glaring and tapping his fingers on the top of the bar.
"Look, bring her something..girly."
The barman blinked.
"You know, something..pink or something." Jayne gestured with his beer. Or would have, only the girl had taken it out of his hand and was taking a careful sip.
She made a face. "Taste's worse than socks." She pushed the beer away with one finger. "Something ripe."
"Ripe?" Jayne asked. "Like, a fruity drink?"
"Yes. Ripe and full with warm skin." She turned to the barman. "We will take two fruity girly drinks."
"I don't need no girly drink!" Jayne took another swig of beer. "I don't do no girly drinks!"
"Girl cannot drink alone."
"I'm drinking right here," he pointed out.
"Its girl's first drink. She should be able to share it." She smiled up at him just as the barman slammed two pink drinks down on the table in front of them. She squealed in excitement as she passed over the coin. "It comes with coverage!" She plucked the umbrella out of her drink and tucked it behind her ear. "Now I can carry my own shade!"
He almost grinned at her excitement, before he remembered she had just ordered him a drink. A pink one. With an tiny umbrella in it.
She was bent over the bar, backside sticking out from where she was kneeling on the stool, slurping at the thing.
She drank about half of it before leaning back. Her face was a little pink, and from the way she clutched her head, he figured she had tried a bit too much too fast.
"It tastes like sunshine!" She told him. "You are too pale." She slid the other fruity drink over to him. "You don't need sunscreen."
She looked so hopeful that he leaned over and took a little sip. After all, you shouldn't let alcohol go to waste. It tasted a little bit like Kaylee smelled. Girly and fruity and entirely too sweet. He wrinkled his nose. "Its too sugary."
"You need the sweetness."
Of course, that was when the doc came rushing over. Babbling about alcohol and medication interactions and Jayne's stupidity at letting her have anything.
"She had the coin," he pointed out.
The doc was trying to tug her away, as she was trying to finish the syrupy thing. There was still a good inch or so of pink stuff in the bottom when big brother managed to drag her away.
She yelled back at him over her shoulder, "Enjoy the summer!"
He looked down at the drink and some in front of him. He threw back the rest of his beer and glanced around.
No one was looking.
He sipped at the pink thing again.
Maybe it weren't too sweet.
And hell, it was alcohol. And the girl had bought it for him.
Be a shame to let it go to waste.