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ARASHI: Sho and Aiba - Laugh

Real Life Shit: feel free to skip

Whining and frustration and word vomit under the cut, all real life crap.



So, i'm a teacher. and right now, it sucks.

for those of you playing along at home, you might notice that this sounds VERY FAMILIAR.

nine years of teaching, 6 schools, 5 jobs - only ONE of which has involved me not getting asked back, and that was due to budget cuts, and just when im getting a handle on things, i get kicked in the head again by how much i hate it.

until christmas, i was doing great. since then, i've been called in to the principal's office twice - once for a regular meeting with him and the prek director where she expressed some concerns and i took care of business, and then again for a regular meeting where we discuss if i will be back next year - he expressed concerns that this school isnt a "good fit" for me.

none of these are bothering me - all fair and good.

but add in the fact that the prek director never came and discussed concerns with ME before taking them to principal, add in the kid in my class who reported being molested (but not by me, thank fuck), add in the speech therapist who stopped me today and told me she has concerns about how my classroom is running and she is "very frustrated" and wants to go to the principal, and when i asked why she didnt talk to me, just sniffed. add that to actually getting written up this year (a first, seriously, i have never ever ever been written up before) due to getting very sick in regards to a med and i left and y'all, I DONT REMEMBER LEAVING SCHOOL, which is hellishly scary.

what the fuck yall.

maybe i am just a shitty teacher.

in two weeks, i find out if i have a job next year at this school, and at this point im betting no.

this fucking sucks.

id love to say that if i lose this job then i just wont teach anymore, but how would we afford for me to do something else? there's a Lush 40 minutes away, and id love to work there, but too long of a drive for too little money. retail would make me punch someone, i'm very much not cut out for office work-i find computers and internet too interesting and end up fucking around online all day. daycare? would solve some problems but raise others.

i just feel like it's not even worth trying again - going through the interviews, setting up a new classroom (and no promises i can even get another prek job, which is what i prefer), getting to know a new team-new principal-new everything. and y'all, before, we've always been on a time limit of where we were - we knew we would leave - but now we bought a house and we're HERE and how can i face former parents if they ask why the hell im not teaching and am working at walmart?

fuck.

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Comments

*hugs*

Life sucks. Do you want me to send you Thin Mints?
I've pretty much decided that i MUST suck as a teacher. or else i'd be happier, right?

and no thank you, i'm working my way through a box as we speak. plus, you just sent me stuff to pee on, so.
No, because apparently I'm decent as a teacher and I still hate it. Granted, college is different than pre-K (though not ALL days, especially with freshmen), but still...

Are you still doing SPED Pre-K? Would you want to do non-SPED pre-K? Or even K? Have you looked at private schools? My bro-in-law teaches HS English at a private school, and I think that's actually one of my back-up plans if academia tanks, which it probably will, since there are no jobs.
I have no solutions but I'm sorry you're unhappy, that sucks. It makes the rest of your life more difficult when you don't like your job.
I love you so so so so so so much.

I'm sorry life is shitty.
Just a drive by to say I love you and offer hugs. ::hugs::

Is private school an option? Day cares usually have high turnover, so at least that might be a viable backup, even if there might be some problems.
Gotta love all those people who get promoted to where they're incompetent. And by that I don't mean you, I mean your pre-K director and my SpEd director and so forth and so on.

You're the only one who worked in (my) room in the 5 years I didn't that had a clue how to work with kids. So.
*hug* I'm so sorry that you're frustrated. This doesn't necessarily mean you're a bad teacher. I think it just means that you're not good with "corporate bullshit" (by which I mean that you are trying to teach the actual kids and not conform to the school). Breathe, explore options, and remember that you're loved
ARASHI: Sho and Aiba - Laugh

October 2014

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